|
[ | |
January 10th, 2008 @ 9:24pm
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tegan and Sara - Like O, Like H |
] |
So, on the topic of tattoos, I think I've seriously come to a conclusion. I want THIS.
PSYCHE!
I'm thinking I want something like this. I'm not sure if they meant to, but it looks like Kurt Halsey's bird. I love his stuff. I was thinking of getting it on my hip or lower back, on the left or right side. I think I want it to say something. I'll just have to keep thinking. I want it to be really special. No one will know I have it til I wear a swimsuit again, if I get it on my hip. If it's on my back, they'd see it.. sometimes. IDK! Decisions decisions!
I am so tired. I have to work in the morning and.. not at night, so I'm thinking of having a DDR party or something. Raise your hand if you think I should!
|
|
|
[ | |
January 6th, 2008 @ 3:09pm
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bob Marley - Reggae Woman |
] |
I'm thinking it's time to get a tattoo. I think I've waited long enough. I just don't know what I'd get.. or where. I think I want one on my hip.
Someone needs to come into the shop today, I'm bored as hell and I'm the only one working right now.
ANY TAKERS?
|
|
|
[ | |
December 31st, 2007 @ 6:39pm
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Loveology - Regina Spektor |
] |
[Private]
Life feels so pointless right now. I've never felt like this before. There's nothing to look forward to. Except, seeing my dad.. I wear his bracelet and Bryan's bracelet every day. I've never had something that means so much to me.
I know that it's the fact that he's not here.. that my life feels so empty. He's kept me going for years now.. and without him? I'm really not much of anything. Everyone else that might claim to be my friend? They're all off with family and friends.. and I'm still sitting here in my apartment WISHING with all my strength that I mattered.
I guess I matter to Bryan.. I guess I matter to my dad.. Where are they? What's there to show for it?
I know he's coming back.. I just don't know when. I don't know how much longer I can sit in Chicago and wait in hopes that he'll come home soon. I wish I was okay with letting him go, but I'm not.
I just started to love him.. What's going to happen to what we had? What will we have?
He was part of me all along, I just couldn't admit it. Now I'm only half and no, I'm not alright.
I do need him.
[/Private]
I'm contemplating moving to Seattle.
Who am I even telling this to?
No one on here cares.
Happy Fucking New Year.
Plastered it is.
|
|
| DATED FOR THE 25TH! |
[ | |
December 27th, 2007 @ 2:19am
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bloc Party - This Modern Love |
] |
Apparently I'm a bracelet-wearing person. Which.. I really am, but that's obviously a good thing for everyone that got me a bracelet for Christmas. I DID save up and buy people things. I suppose Bryan's will just have to wait until he reapears. If he ever does.
I did sit at home this Christmas. My mother called and I ignored said calls.. so then she called to bitch at me about the ignored calls. I didn't answer. Just listened to the voicemail.
I did NOT buy myself anything for Christmas. That's stupid.
Merry Fucking Christmas, world.
( OOC. Just so everyone knows. )
|
|
|
[ | |
December 21st, 2007 @ 12:12am
| | ] |
|
How many weeks has it been? Oh. A month? Really? I got a letter finally. I think it said hey.. and bye.. and that's about it. Lovely.
I suppose I'll wear the red one.
( This is for you, Jimbo. )
I cut my hair today. Just to inform the masses. If you can't tell by the picture.
[Private]
Love Bryan? Miss me like crazy? I wish I believed that stuff.
I can't decide whether I should be mad that I got one measly letter after a whole month.. or if I should be happy that he wrote me at all.
I still don't sleep well at night. I miss him so much.
I think I'm going to write him back.. What could it hurt after all?
Maybe we're both supposed to forget everything that happened before and start over?
I don't want to start over. I love him too much to start over.
|
|
|
[ | |
December 20th, 2007 @ 2:32am
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
apathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
We Are Scientists - The Scene Is Dead |
] |
I've bought certain people Christmas presents. I bought my little brother a present and I'm going to leave it in the mailbox for him. He's really the only person in that family that's naive enough to like me. I hope my mom and Robert don't damage him too badly.
My friend Jacob needed a model a couple of weeks ago for his photography class and he randomly emailed me the picture he used. I had forgotten I did it. He says he got an A on the project. I normally don't like pictures of myself..
( This one.. I strangely like. )
Even though I look deformed. It has great artistic value. Apparently I'm peculiar looking?
Haha.
I'm not really looking forward to Christmas. It's pretty easy, if you know me at all, to guess why.
I'm extremely NOT myself lately. I feel like a spectator to my own life.
not quite sure of myself right now.
|
|
|
[ | |
December 18th, 2007 @ 12:10am
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
curious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Spoon - Summon You |
] |
It's over. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like I've been in a transe for the last few weeks. I haven't done much besides working and school. I've been making my rent payments and have had extra money for a new coat and some boots and random things. There's actually more then just ramen in my cabinets.
I haven't smoked in a long time.. and it's only because if I smoke, thinking about him and the fact that he's not here, only gets worse.
I'm ready to party.
It might be nice to actually be twenty and behave that way.
[Dominic]
I've got you a Christmas present.
[/Dominic]
|
|
